Saturday, 28 June 2014

Angry woman

Do You also have days, when you fill that nobody understand you ? I'm during that day. I have literally enough, of asking for a bit of comprehension my family. 
Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, maybe it's because I'm emigrant, maybe because I'm a woman...Or all that together. 
Today I'm angry mother and very angry wife.  Everything have started from morning, I add that Saturday morning, so all family is at home. Like usually at Saturday for breakfast we have pancakes (big and flat, not those little and fluffy), so I'm doing pancakes, washing some dishes, kids are running around and all the time asking for something and my lovely husband asking if I could make a tea for him...and that was it to much...I thought so I'm pregnant woman in my last weeks of pregnancy and my family is acting like that, no way... So I'm screaming and crying in the same time... My husband it's not the type that will come and gave me a hug or say something that calm me down  unfortunately, and I have knew that even befor I have started screaming... So I was left alone with my miserable face. I backed to pancakes.
But after breakfast my husband and kids have started cleaning all house, I think he felt guilty so he thought that if he will clean I will feel better. Unfortunately I'm a woman and all I needed was attention, understanding, good word, hug and assuring that I'm loved. He was doing good thing in his opinion but I still didn't got what I needed. 
Is that situation familiar for you ? It's classic from book 'Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars' . I have read this book long time ago, and I know that my husband fills that I was unfair for him. He was traing so hard and got only my tears. To bad that he have never read this book.   
Now they all gone for some shopping, so I can relax and seat in quiet house not bother by anyone, I really needed that...
We will see what will happen till evening, but I know that only way to got what I need is to tell him about this, he won't guess... ;)  

Friday, 27 June 2014

Pregnant for third time...

                                                                   Photo taken by my son :) 

Today I would like to write about pregnancy. Well, I'm pregnant third time and every single one was different.
First time was very exited because everything was so unknown. I wasn't sure about a lot of things, is that ok that my belly hurts? Are they a baby movements? What should I eat? Can I ride a bike?  And so long... Only what I could do was to trust my doctor and hoping for the best. During pregnancy I have been few times in the hospital. Now when I'm thinking about those days I'm not sure if that was really necessary...
Second time was bit better becouse I have known already more. So I knew that some pain is ok and doesn't heve to mean that something is wrong. Unfortunetly my doctor was doing everything to put me into hospital, finally I heve anded there couple of times, but still in my opinion unnecessary. While I was at the hospital I was taking only basic medicines like folic acid, so what you think? Rather nothing was wrong. But my doctor tried threatened me that I could went into labour any time and that it was necessary that I stayed in the hospital. 
Those two times I felt like a incubator, doctors didn't care aboute me, they didn't ask if it's ok to do this or that, they just assumed that they can and that I didn't mind. 
Now I'm pregnant third time and my experience in that matter is huge I exactly know what I need and how I would like to be treat. This is also some kind of new experience becouse first time I'm pregnant in Australia and I have to say that a lot of things are different here. I won't write about all of them, but only one: No one treats me like a incubator, doctors asks how I feel, if it is ok to do this or that. Of course not everything is ideal, sometimes I thing that they are to relax and maybe they should be more concerned, but on the other hand if everything is ok ?  
From that place I would like to thank everyone my friends from Australia and Poland, my family, my kids, my husband, teachers from kinda and school, strangers  for their kindness, concerns, help, for all those beautiful words, for their joy because of new baby. All that was such a great experience, gave me strength in difficult moments, when I felt so bad, when I felt down... THANK YOU!!! :) 

Thursday, 19 June 2014


Photos of Poland ( from letf: river Biebrza,river Biebrza, river Drwa, medow, Oaks in Białowieski National Park, Casel in Malbork, my house, winter in our garden, forest near our house, forest, medow near our house, winter in our garden )

I have never thought that I will be so homesick when I was living Poland. In this first months I was searching constantly for something familiar, for something that recall memories about Poland. I had started to cook very traditional polish dishes like pierogi ( dumplings with stuffing ), bigos ( stew from cabbage, meet, mashrooms and spices ). I heve never cooked them in Poland.
I started to appreciate our heritage more, how rich is the polish culture, how beautiful is the landscape  and the nature. What a great and long history we have with heritage buildings in every corner. I missed to polish forest to sounds of the nature, the views. I barly could stand yellow, dray grass, gumtrees, flat landscape around me.
There were better and worse times. Days when I was crying and days when I was great full for this journey. Days when I liked Australia and days when I heated it.
This swing of emotions was huge. In just few days my live have change so much. I didn't have friends, family, job, I was alone. My husband was working a lot, travelling a lot to different parts of Australia.
But there was one thing that kept  me going - my kids. I knew that I had to be for them. They missed also to their grandparents, friends, house even to their toys...
Very helpful was technology, us soon we got connection to the internet I was relived :).

Friday, 13 June 2014

First months in Australia

Kangaroos ?? = Welcome in Australia :) 

We landed in Australia at the second half of August. It was a rainy and cold Monday. We were exhausted after 24 hours flight, especially I and kids, because my husband seemed 
not notice of the time change. When we were driving to our new home from Melbourne I couldn’t watched views I was to sleepy. When we arrived to our new house all three of us went straight to one bed for a long nap and my husband went straight to work.
At late in the evening we woke up and found out that there is nothing to eat. So there it was- first shopping in Australia. At the super market first person that I spotted was barefoot women with messy hair and she had little girl in trolley who was dressed in dirty pajama. I thought ‘So, this is how Australian looks like?’. After few months I have used to people who didn't bother how they looked like. That was the first difference I have noticed, because in Poland people worried a lot about their appearance.  
That was my first day in Australia and the rest of the week was looking pretty much the same. We were sleeping till 1 pm then we couldn’t slept at the night, but every day was bit better in that matter, so after a week had past we started to cope with time change.
After we survived the first changes: time, season ( in Poland was summer), traffic ( we drive on the right side of the road ). I had to start a normal live.
I started organised our house by buying furniture and other necessary things. I also had to managed with kindergarten for kids. I didn’t feel confident with my English at all so, my husband was helping with communication. In Poland I have learned English for many years, but after I finished my education I didn't use it often. I had this big barrier with talking.  I thought that I sound silly that I was doing a lot of mistakes, that people can’t understand me. Believe me first months weren't easy at all, from businesswomen to women how was struggling with the  easiest  things. Sometimes I felt flustered and confused. Everything was different. There were many times that I was angry at my husband and at myself that I wasn't  doing well. At this first months I just wanted back home...homesick was huge.